Predictable BS: The Truth About 2025 News (Discuss!)

The Kroger Numbers Game: Are We Buying It?

Alright, let's dive into this Kroger report, shall we? "Strong results reflecting meaningful progress," brags CEO Ron Sargent. Give me a break. That's corporate-speak for "we're trying to distract you from the bad stuff." And there's plenty of bad stuff to distract from.

Operating loss of $1.5 billion? Ouch. But hey, eCommerce is up 17%! See how they do that? Bury the lede. Highlight the shiny object.

They took a $2.6 billion hit for their automated fulfillment network. Automated fulfillment. Translation: robots that probably couldn't tell a tomato from a toaster. What a disaster. And who's paying for it? We are, offcourse.

[H2] The Blame Game: Excuses and Explanations

So, what's the excuse this time? Well, there's the "previously announced impairment and related charges." Translation: "we screwed up, but we told you it was coming, so it's not really our fault."

Then there's the "strategic review" that's gonna make eCommerce profitable in 2026. Strategic review? Sounds like a bunch of overpaid consultants telling them what they already knew.

And the LIFO charge jumped from $4 million to $44 million. LIFO, for those of you who aren't accounting nerds, basically means they're paying more for stuff. Which means we're paying more for stuff. Thanks, Kroger.

Oh, and they sold off their Specialty Pharmacy. "Improvement in gross margin was primarily attributable to the sale of Kroger Specialty Pharmacy..." Translation: "We sold off a profitable business to make the numbers look better." Smart. Real smart.

[H2] eCommerce: A Glimmer of Hope or Just Smoke and Mirrors?

The one thing that's actually interesting is the eCommerce jump. 17% increase. That's real growth, right? Maybe?

I mean, are people actually buying more groceries online, or are they just too lazy to go to the store? And is that laziness sustainable? I don't know, I'm asking.

But let's be real, Kroger's not exactly Amazon when it comes to online retail. Their website looks like it was designed in 2005. And their delivery fees? Highway robbery.

Hold on, gotta rant for a sec: My internet provider just upped their rates again. I swear, these companies are all in cahoots. Price gouging left and right... Anyway, where were we?

Oh yeah, Kroger.

So, they're narrowing their identical sales guidance and raising the lower end of their adjusted earnings per share guidance. Jargon, jargon, jargon. According to Kroger Reports Third Quarter 2025 Results and Updates Guidance for 2025, these adjustments reflect their latest financial performance.

What I really want to know is: how much are they spending on lobbying? And how much are they donating to political campaigns? Because that's the real story, isn't it?

They're also patting themselves on the back for "stabilizing associates' future benefits" by making an accelerated contribution to multi-employer pension plans. Okay, good for them. But how about paying their employees a living wage now?

[H2] Skepticism Reigns: A Propaganda Play?

I'm not buying it. Not one bit. This whole report is a carefully crafted piece of propaganda designed to keep investors happy and the stock price up.

And honestly, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the corporate BS. I'm tired of the endless spin.

Then again, maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe Kroger really is turning things around. Maybe their automated fulfillment network will eventually work. Maybe eCommerce will save them.

But I doubt it.

[H2] The Bottom Line: A Shell Game?

Kroger's trying to play the long game, but they're using short-sighted tactics. Selling off assets, burying bad news, and hyping up small victories. It's a shell game, plain and simple. And we're the suckers paying for it.